Inner Friendship For Buddhists

10:00 AM - August 12, 2014 by Jonathan Burch

Inner friendship is about receiving wise guidance from your inner voices that know better than you do how you should respond in your circumstances to be happy.   You experience the source of your inner voices, hunches, thoughts or feelings as a person who becomes your inner friend.

    For a Buddhist your inner friend is one to whom you pray for guidance and help.  For some Buddhists this the Buddha or a bodhisattva with whom you communicate through the power of meditation or prayer. 

    The Dhammapada  teaches the Buddha’s lessons on happiness and inner friendship.  Here are some examples:

If, hoping to be happy, you strike at others who also seek happiness, you will be happy neither here or hereafter.  If hoping to be happy, you do not strike at others who are also seeking happiness, you will be happy here and hereafter.  10: 131-132

They are not following dharma who resort to violence to achieve their purpose.  But those who lead others through non-violent means, knowing right and wrong, may be called guardians of the dharma.  19: 256-257

Free from the desire to possess people and things, 

he does not grieve over what is not.

With friendship toward all and faith in the Buddhas teachings, 

he will reach the holy state where all is peace.  25: 367-368

Buddhism is a beautiful religion of many facets that teaches kindness, peace, beauty, compassion and love.  For some Buddhists it is a religion.  For some Buddhists it is a philosophy and psychology of life.  For all Buddhists it is a way of life that leads to successful human life.

Meditation has been studied in Buddhism in many forms and perfected in different ways.  Each of these has the potential to be your path to communication in inner friendship.  Some Buddhists use prayer to communicate with their inner friend.  Some Buddhists aye meditation to communicate with their inner friend.  However it works for you seek your inner friend in prayer or meditation and build your inner friendship to receive wise guidance for life long success and happiness.

Buddha has already guided you with his Eight-Fold Path.  Follow it and live it.  Begin with right association, living in a supportive community of like-minded people.  Then live the Eight-Fold Path along with them.  Study them.  Learn how your inner friendship can guide you to personally respond to the circumstances of your life to live righteously.  Here are the eight principles of the Buddha’s successful path to life:

The Eightfold Path:

1.    Right Views

2.    Right Intent

3.    Right Speech

4.    Right Conduct

Do not kill

Do not steal

Do not lie

Do not be unchaste

Do not drink intoxicants

5.    Right Livelihood

6.    Right Effort

7.    Right Mindfulness

8.    Right Concentration

    Happiness is not in things, money, power, control over people or fame.  It is not in anger, violence or hatred.   Happiness, fulfillment as a whole person, is in fulfilling relationships.  Buddha expressed this in a variety of ways:

Him I call a brahmin who is never angry,

never causes harm to others even when he is 

harmed by them.  26: 389

One is not wise because he talks a good deal.  

They are wise who are patient, and free from hate and fear.  19: 258

Dont try to build your happiness on the unhappiness of others.  You will be enmeshed in a net of hatred21: 291

It is good to have friends when friendship is mutual.  Good deeds are friends at the time of death.  But best of all is going beyond sorrow.  23: 331

Him I call a Brahmin who does not hurt others with unkind acts, words or thoughts.  His body and mind obey him.  26: 391        


Him I call a Brahmin who has put aside all weapons and renounced violence toward all creatures.  He neither kills nor helps others kill.  26: 405

The sun shines in the day; the moon shines in the night.  The warrior shines in battle, the brahmin in meditation.  But day and night the Buddha shines in radiance of love for all.  26: 386

    If Buddhism is your religion or way of life, embrace it passionately, learn its ways, practice.  If you do you will be as the Buddha saw you would be.  You will be happy.

    How do you begin an inner friendship with the Buddha or a bodhisattva through the power of prayer or meditation?  It is easy, just begin.  Just pray, or meditate.  

    The first step is to quietly pray or meditate to open the door to communication.  Your inner friend is always listening.  You do not have to be loud or wordy.  Just let your inner friend know you are now reaching out.  You can pray out loud or silently in your head.  “Hello, Buddha.  It’s me.  I don’t know what I am supposed to do, but here I am.”  Your inner friend is waiting for you and will be glad you opened the door.  To begin … just pray or meditate.  Then follow the nine steps to a mature inner friendship in Inner Friendship For Everyone.

Request For Articles

    This article has been prepared for this web site, by the author of the site.  It is only one point of view.  If you have an experience with inner guidance through prayer in your Buddhist walk, and would share it with others, how you did it and how it worked out, please write a brief article about it and email it to  It will be reviewed and some of the articles will be added to the Buddhist page on the web site.  We cannot put them all on at once, but we may rotate them.  Include your name, city, state and temple affiliation if you want.  Also include your written permission to publish your article on the site.  Any suggestions for the web site or improving the ebook for the next edition will also be appreciated.


Jonathan Burch

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